Trust Me
by TheHesitantWriter
Summary: Brian feels like there is a wall separating him and Olivia, but he just doesn't know what it is or how to break it down. He's trying to get her to trust him, but is afraid of hurting her in the process. Will Olivia trust Brian? Will she reveal one of her darkest secrets to him? Will the wall come down? Read and find out! Rated M for sexual content. One shot.


**A/N: This is my first FanFiction story! Please review, but be gentle! I hope you enjoy it! **

Her phone buzzed and lit up with a new message. She read the name on it and smiled. When she opened it, she smiled brighter.

_Hey baby, I worked it out so I could get the night off. Come over? I feel like I haven't seen you lately, Miss Busy Bee._

She rolled her eyes at her newfound nickname and hit reply. She missed him. She felt the same way he did. She honestly couldn't remember the last time they spent the night together. Sometimes they were able to grab dinner together before he'd have to go in for the night shift, but almost every romantic dinner they planned would usually be interrupted by her ringtone and the need for her to be back at work that typically followed.

She looked around and realized it was 7 o'clock, the squad room was quieter than usual, there were no new cases, and Cragen was on vacation. It was the perfect opportunity for Olivia to have a night off.

She looked down at her phone and typed: _Hey Bri, I miss you, too. I'm actually just about to leave work. Give me about a half hour. Can't wait to see you. _

She smiled to herself and clicked her pen closed, threw it and all her files in her desk drawer, and stood up. She grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair and placed it over her right forearm, grabbed her purse, and started to leave.

"Go home, guys," she said, "There will be plenty of bad guys to catch tomorrow."

Munch looked at her questioningly, "Who are you, and what have you done with Detective Benson?"

She laughed as she continued toward the elevator, "I'm taking the night off," she said with a smirk.

A half hour later she was knocking on Brian Cassidy's door. Not even 30 seconds later, the door swung open and Brian's bright smile was there to greet her. He opened the door more to let her in and before it was fully closed his lips were on hers.

Olivia smiled into his kiss and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck while he had his hands firmly gripping her hips bringing her closer to him. The kiss was slow and gentle, Brian knew she didn't like when things got hot and heavy too early.

That was the thing about Olivia he didn't understand. She was fierce and confident in almost everything she did. She took on pedophiles and rapists, but when it came to intimacy, she needed a little bit of prep time. She wasn't the type to just jump right into bed.

He always wondered why she seemed so hesitant. At first he thought it was him, but he soon erased that idea when she had complimented him on his "experience" more than a few times after their love making.

He then thought it was because she worked SVU. He, too, struggled with intimacy after he started working there, but she'd been there for 14 years now, he wasn't sure that was the reason anymore.

There was something she was hiding from him. He wanted to know what it was, but he didn't want to push her. He wanted her to trust him enough to tell him on her own accord. For now, he just knew how to handle her, especially in the bedroom. He noticed she shied away from oral sex. Not just for him, but she didn't want him to do it for her, either. Even when he insisted it was just something he wanted to do for her, she would still say no. She blamed it on the fact she didn't like giving it; therefore it wouldn't be fair for her to receive it. To be honest, Brian didn't even care if he received any. He just wanted to make her happy, but if that's how she wanted it, it was fine by him.

The only thing that bothered him was he knew she was lying.

Brian and Olivia had been together before back in the day. If he remembered correctly, which he _knows_ he did, she loved the feeling of his tongue. She also had no problem with reciprocating either, that he'll _never_ forget. But alas, it never happened again and he didn't see it happening again anytime soon.

As she gently broke their kiss, he reached out for a couple more little pecks and then pulled back to look at her. She was beautiful. She smiled softly at him and he returned the gesture.

"Hey Liv," he said quietly.

She smiled and brought her face closer to his so their noses were touching, "Hey Baby," she replied.

He pulled her into a true embrace and gently rubbed her back. She had her head on his shoulder with her face in his neck. She sighed contently.

"Let's keep it low key tonight," he whispered in her ear, "I've got a bottle of your favorite wine in the kitchen, why don't we just relax here?"

She picked her head up and kissed him, "Sounds like a plan," she smiled.

Once the bottle of wine was gone, the couple was laying on the couch together watching TV. Olivia was laying on top of Brian with her head on his chest and her legs between his. He had his arms protectively wrapped around her and every now and then traced his fingers up and down her back and shoulders. Neither of them were very focused on what they were watching on TV, they were just enjoying each other's company.

Olivia picked her head up and pressed her nose into Brian's chest lightly and kissed him through his cotton t-shirt. He ran his fingers through her hair and she smiled. She looked up at him and kissed him. Brian held her closer to him as he ran his tongue along her lips asking for entry to her mouth. She gladly accepted his request and their tongues explored each other. After a few minutes Olivia gently pulled away from Brian, smiled, got off him, and grabbed his hand. Getting the hint, Brian stood up and let her lead him to the bedroom.

As they made their way to the bedroom they continued to kiss and began to shed their shirts. Once they were finally in the bedroom, Olivia was only wearing her bra and jeans, which were already unbuttoned by Brian, while he only had on his jeans as well. He gently pushed her onto the bed and slowly started to pull her jeans down her long, tan legs. He saw that her underwear and bra were matching and smiled at her. He leant down and kissed her softly on the lips as he gripped her underwear. She pushed his hands away, wanting to pull his jeans off him first.

A few minutes later, both were naked and looking in each other's eyes smiling. Brian was still on top of Olivia, he leaned down and stole a few more small kisses from her lips and made his way down her chest stopping to give each of her hardened nipples attention. She sighed happily, running her fingers through his dark hair. He chuckled a little when he heard her sigh. He loved how he could make her feel good with the simplest of touches.

He continued to make his way down her body, stopping at her navel and lightly running his tongue around it. She giggled a little at the contact, being ticklish in that particular spot. Brian contemplated his next move; he wanted to try one more time. He was thinking that maybe, just maybe she was relaxed enough to let him taste her. It was the last barrier that separated them, and he hated it. He loved her so much, he didn't want there to be anything between them. He wanted to prove how much he loved her. He wanted her to believe he would never hurt her.

What he wanted most was _her trust_.

And so, with a nervous smile, he kissed from her belly button to just above her vagina. She gasped and sat up knowing what he wanted to do.

"Bri, no Baby. We don't need to do that," she breathed in a slight panic. She started to shift and get uncomfortable and he immediately regretted his decision.

He looked at her with sad eyes, "Easy, easy, Liv. I'm not trying to hurt you. Relax a little," he said gently. He moved back up and brought his face close to hers again and kissed her lightly. "Why do you always turn me down?"

"I-I just don't like it," she said nervously. He could see her trying not to shake.

"Liv, you seem to forget we slept together 13 years ago. I very accurately remember you being quite the fan of me getting a taste," he whispered, smirking slightly.

"Well things change," she snapped. He knew she wasn't trying to hurt his feelings; it was just her defense mechanism. She was protecting herself from whatever it was she wasn't telling him.

He swallowed hard before asking his next question, "Why?"

She just stared at him. She wanted to tell him but was afraid if she did he wouldn't want her anymore. "Do we really need to talk about this now?" she asked.

He sighed in frustration, partially because she wasn't talking and partially because he could feel his erection softening, "I think now is the best time," he said not fully believing it himself.

She looked away from him, tears brimming her eyes. She took a few seconds to try and catch her breath, but it wasn't working. She could hear it, the banging of the bars, the horrible things he said, her cries for help no one could hear. She was there, in the basement again and she couldn't get back out. Her mind was racing, her eyes darted back and forth, her breath hastened, and she couldn't calm down. Then she heard it…

"Liv. Liv!" Brain had his hand on her shoulder shaking her gently trying to break her out of her flashback. "Hey, Baby, hey…" he spoke quietly as she looked over at him with tears streaming down her face. He lightly wiped them away, but not without Olivia flinching a little bit at the contact at first.

"I'm sorry," she said, a little embarrassed at the episode that just took place.

"No, honey. I'm sorry; I didn't know I was upsetting you that much. I'm so sorry," Brian pleaded.

Olivia took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She took a second and then looked at Brian. "I, uh, I don't really know where to start." Brian just looked at her; he frankly didn't know what to say either. He took hold of her hand and traced little circles along the back of it with his thumb.

"It's okay, Baby. I only want to know what you want to tell me," he said as he leaned back into the bed's headboard while pulling her to him. She rested against him with her head on his chest and her arms wrapped around his waist. He tightly secured his arms around her in an attempt to make her feel safe.

He kissed the top of her head, "You're okay. It's just you and me, you're safe here."

She smiled a little at that. Olivia was so in love with Brian, she was so happy to have him in her life. "Okay," she started, "It started back when I went undercover-"

"You went undercover?" Brian asked a little surprised.

"Yes," she said, "I was investigating a Corrections Officer who was accused of raping one of his prisoner's daughters." He could sense she was uncomfortable so he gave her an extra squeeze as a reminder that he was there and he loved her.

"Well," she continued, "A riot broke out in the prison cafeteria and I, being one of the newest prisoners, got blamed for starting it all."

"Wait, did you?" he asked.

"I mean, kind of," she smirked. He kissed the top of her head again and chuckled a little.

"One of the Corrections Officers, the one I was investigating, told me he was going to put me in isolation for having started the riot. It wasn't until we got to the door of the basement that I realized I was in danger," she explained. Brian could hear her voice start to quiver and his heart sank. He took one of his hands and gently rubbed along her arm and he used the other to do the same to her back.

"He lead me down into the basement and I saw the old mattress. I asked him what he wanted from me and he said, 'Whatever I say.' I knew he was planning on raping me." At this point she was crying and Brian held her closer to him. He sat there quietly just holding her and listening to her cry.

Eventually he spoke, "Shh, it's okay. I'm right here. You don't have to go on anymore if you don't want to," he said, "We can stop here, it's okay, Baby."

She shook her head, "No, I've already gotten through half, might as well finish it," she said somberly. He nodded, allowing her to continue.

"I fought so hard to get away from him. I actually did for a brief moment, I ran to hide somewhere else in the basement, but he still found me. Th-that was when he handcuffed me to the bars. I was sitting on the floor. H-he unzipped his pants and said-" she was sobbing now. She wasn't sure she was going to be able to finish her next sentence. Brian began to rub her back again as a means of soothing her. He was torn, he regretted bringing it up and making her tell him, but at the same time, he was glad she was. He could actually see the last wall separating them start to come down.

She continued, "H-he said, 'If you bite me, I'll kill you.' Th-then, h-he put it in my mouth. It was horrible. Thankfully Fin came in right after and stopped it. I only had to do it for a few seconds, but, but-" she couldn't finish her sentence. Her body wracked with sobs and she couldn't control herself. Brian held her close to him and kissed the top of her head again. He even started to gently rock her hoping it would help calm her down.

She took a few deep breaths and started to compose herself. She looked at Brian, her face still covered in tears and said, "That's why I can't," she said, "I just can't do that for you. And I mean it when I say I'd feel bad if you did it for me and I didn't give it back. I'd feel like I wasn't giving you what you wanted or needed and that's not fair." Her eyes were filled with tears again but she wasn't letting them fall. "I'd feel like I was taking advantage," she said quietly.

He brought his hand up to her face and softly rubbed his thumb along her cheek. He then gently pulled her face back into his chest and used his other hand to run his fingers through her hair. He could feel her relax into him and he couldn't tell if it was because she finally told him or because he was playing with her hair. He kind of hoped it was a combination of both.

"Liv, I'm so sorry that happened to you, but thank you for telling me," he said.

"It's not your fault," she whispered.

"It's not yours either…"

She sighed, "I always planned on telling you, I just didn't know when."

"Well now you don't have to worry about that anymore," he stated.

She looked up at him and half smiled. He leaned down slowly and lightly pressed his lips to hers, which she welcomed. He then leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he asked.

She stared at him for a second, "Yes, of course, Baby. I love you, too. So much."

At that, he smiled, "Then let me love you," he whispered, "Just _me_ loving _you_."

She looked at him. Really looked at him. At first she was angry and thought to herself, "Did he even _hear_ a single word I just said?" But then, she realized what he was trying to do. He was trying to get her to trust him, fully trust him. He wasn't making her do anything she didn't want to do, he wasn't pressuring her, the choice was entirely hers to make, and for that, she was grateful.

She took a deep breath, feeling the tears starting to burn her eyes, "Okay," she whispered.

He looked at her with wide eyes at first, but then smiled, "Okay," he whispered back.

He slowly rubbed his hands up and down her arms and when he saw that she was ready, he gently flipped them over so he was on top. He kissed her passionately, trying to show her how much he loved and appreciated her, especially after what he just put her through. He then slowly moved his mouth down her neck and shoulders and landed on her breasts again. After giving each some well-deserved attention, he moved lower. He planted little kisses down her stomach until he reached his goal. He felt her tense up. He looked up at her and could see the tears in her eyes. He began to softly and slowly run his hands along the tops and outsides of her thighs as a way to soothe her. When he saw her begin to calm down, he gently separated her legs and kissed the inside of her thighs, each kiss getting closer and closer to her center.

Her heart was racing. Her brain was screaming at her to stop what was happening and go back to the way things were before, but she knew how important this was to Brian. He was trying so desperately to show her how much he loved her and how he didn't care that she couldn't do it back. He only cared about making her happy.

He looked up at her again and said, "We can stop whenever, you say the word and it's over. Okay?"

She looked at him with tears in her eyes and nodded. She took a deep breath and rested her head back down on the pillow and closed her eyes. "I'm ready," she said.

He rubbed the outside of her thighs again and said, "Relax, Baby. It's just me. You're okay, it's not going to hurt."

He saw her nod again and contemplated stopping, "She's not ready," he thought, "She can't do it. Why am I doing this?" but then he remembered, "Because I love her." And with that he leaned forward and started to kiss her folds. He learned how nervous she really was when he realized she wasn't wet, like at all. He felt guilty until he felt her start to relax into him. He took that as an OK for him to continue. He then licked her entire length and he felt her jump a little. He gently put his hands on her hips to keep her from moving too much as he continued to lick and suck at her sex. He could hear her let out little whimpers and moans. He smiled knowing she was enjoying what he was doing.

After about a couple minutes into it, he felt her hand running through his hair and her hips start to buck a little. She was moaning more loudly at this point. She was much more wet now than she was when he first started. She then pushed his face further into her and he found her clit.

She gasped. "Baby, that feels so good," she moaned. "More, please Baby, more," she said as she arched her back into him.

He backed away for a second and said, "I love you so much."

She moaned again, "I love you, too, Bri. Keep it up, it's so good."

When he returned to her center, he could feel how ready she was. He continued to eat her and she continued to moan.

He could hear her panting as he ran his tongue around her clit. He knew she was close. She then screamed, "Brian, I'm coming!"

"Good, Liv," he said, "Just let go, Baby. It's okay. I'm right here."

His words did it, she let go and came, hard. He continued to lick her until she was cleaned up and then feathered small kisses up her stomach and chest until he found her lips again.

"Mm, Brian that was great," she said smiling, "Thank you."

He kissed her sweetly, "Of course, Baby. I just wanted to make you feel loved."

She looked him right in the eyes, "You always make me feel loved. _Always_." She realized, in what just happened, that she could do it. She could do it because she remembered: _It's just me. You're okay, it's not going to hurt. _She could do it because he would never hurt her. She could do it because it would be an act of love and not violence. She could do it because it would be completely different. She loved Brian, that was the biggest difference.

She then reached down and began to fondle his member. She lightly grazed her thumb across his tip and he let out a low grunt.

She giggled a little, "You know," she said, "I _love_ when you grunt. I just find it so sexy," she smiled at him flirtatiously. He laughed and she pushed him onto his back and rolled on top of him. She began to kiss him hard and then followed the same kissing pattern he did. When she reached below his belly button, he stopped her.

"Baby, no. That's not why I did that. That was just for you, you don't have to do this," he said.

She looked at him and smiled, "It's okay, Bri. I trust you."

That was it. That was all he needed to hear. He stared at her for a couple seconds longer just to be sure she was really okay with it and said, "I just want you to be happy and healthy," he said, "There's no pressure here."

"I know, Honey. It's okay. I can do this." She then leaned down over his mostly hardened cock and kissed his tip. She started to gently suck and lick just his tip and smiled when she felt him get harder. He let out a moan.

"Mm, Baby, I like that," he said.

"Yeah?" she smiled, "I'm just getting started." She then took all her mouth could take in of him and slowly backed off. She repeated the motion a few more times, the last couple of repetitions she used her hands to massage his balls at the same time.

He had his fingers in her hair, gently running through it. His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open, moaning every time her tongue made another trip around his penis. He continued to moan as he got closer to the edge.

Every now and again she would tease him by taking her mouth off of his length and would just kiss around crotch. She could feel him shake and quiver with the anticipation of her returning her mouth to his cock. She laughed inwardly at how much control she had over him in this moment. She was somewhat proud of herself for being able to do it and actually enjoy doing it, too.

Once she felt she had tortured Brian enough with her teasing, she put her mouth on him again and continued to suck and lick his rock hard erection. He moaned more loudly and she knew he was ready.

"Alright Baby, back up. I'm ready," he said in a low growl.

"No, I wanna taste you," she said seductively.

Her response caught him by surprise. "Liv-" he started.

"Shh, Baby it's okay. Just let go," she said as she continued to swirl her tongue around his length. She took him all at once and slowly backed off again and heard him growl and moan.

That was it, she had him. He shot his seed into her mouth and she took all of it. When he was finished and she had swallowed, she crawled up the bed to lie on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her and rolled them so they were on their sides facing each other.

He was happy. He was happy they had reached this new level together and judging by the sparkle in her eyes, he knew she was happy, too.

He brushed the hair out of her face, "How are you feeling? You okay?" he asked.

She smiled, "I've never been better. I'm really glad this happened. I've never felt closer to you."

He pressed his forehead against hers, "Me, too Baby. I know I've said it a lot tonight, but I love you, so much. I'm glad this happened, too. I'm glad you trust me."

She closed her eyes and sighed contently, "I love you, too. I appreciate you taking the time to understand and for not pushing me. You don't know how grateful I am for that. I feel so much better now. Like, that was the last tie keeping me attached to my assault, keeping me in the dark, and you helped me cut it. If that makes any sense," she laughed.

"Makes perfect sense, Honey, I'm glad I could help," he leaned forward and kissed her softly.

She snuggled into his chest more and sighed again. She was tired from everything and just wanted to sleep. Brian could sense this, so he held her close to him and kissed the top of her head one more time. He pulled the covers up higher over them so she wouldn't get cold, and alternated between rubbing circles in her back and running his fingers through her hair. Eventually his eyes slowly closed and he drifted off into a happy sleep along with Olivia.

This was it. This was what it felt like to have no separations, no secrets, no walls. She completely trusted him and he trusted her. This is what he'd always wanted. This is what he'd been waiting for, and he couldn't be happier.


End file.
